Love or Hate Marriage? Both

The initial post I had written on this issue drew inspiration mostly from the part of me that dislikes the institution that is marriage. I figured that if I posted that, it'll be a completely honest post but it will provide my audience with a skewed view of marriage, based on my perceptions of course. This is the third draft of this post, and thankfully, the final. Enjoy it.

I love and hate marriage, I am Gemini, and I guess it's expected. What do I love about marriage? Well, there's that stability it provides, and yes, I know not all marriages are stable but right now let's focus on the stable ones. I am only twenty-two years old but I can tell you that moving from one relationship to another can be quite stressful, and I am talking based on little experience here. However, marriage (in its purest and unadulterated form) seems to me like a solution to the problem of jumping from one partner to the other. I know it doesn't happen overnight, finding the most suitable partner that is, however when one does find a suitable partner and the timing is right, I believe tying the knot should be the next step. At least I know that's what one part of me wants, to quickly seal the deal with the next "perfect" gentleman who shows up. Again, this is mostly because I am not a big fan of dating, the seemingly endless cycle of moving from one partner to the other is exhausting. But perhaps more importantly, the stability that comes with having one partner is something I desire for my children. I can't subject my younglings to a different man at different points in their lives. 

However my other half - the feminist, the matriarch, the adventurous one - detests the institution. The other part of me hates the fact that marriage is one of the many things that has been imposed on me as a female. There isn't a way to wiggle myself out of this thing that is expected of me at one point in my life without having to hear pleas to hurry up and just get hitched already and start producing babies. This half of me also hates that in complying with this institution, I will be giving up my independence while also taking a step that fosters patriarchy. Also I hate the thought that by getting hitched I may be encouraging the idea that without a man, or without marriage women can amount to nothing by themselves. It is for that last reason that I do want to amount to something before getting hitched, and this is where the dilemma presents itself: what happens if the perfect man shows up while I am yet to amount to something- by that I mean be entirely self sufficient and independent, what am I going to do? How many of such men will I have to lose before I get to a point where I am ready for a long term marriage?

On the other hand, this other part of me is busy loving married couples. Especially the very old ones who celebrate fifty-years and more of marriage. It's so amazing to see how such people stick together for such long periods, almost unbelievable sometimes.

In the end, marriage is something that works for some and doesn't for others. What I believe is of importance though is the freedom for each individual, whether male or female, to choose whether or not it's something they want to get into. Also, only the individuals concerned in a marriage (or even a relationship) should dictate the dynamics of that relationship, not some religious sect or traditional set of beliefs.

So folks, marriage, yay or nay? Why or why not? What works for you or what doesn't?

Thanks for reading, and sharing!
L.S!

Post-Script
I kept using “the perfect man”, but I do know there are no perfect beings. However, I have used perfect man in this post not to describe a flawless individual but an individual whose flaws do not come in the way of my desire to be with him.