Nagging

When you hear the word ‘nag’ or ‘nagging’ I am pretty sure the image that comes to mind is that of a woman, and why not? Women are society’s naggers. Or at least that’s what I’ve come to believe. The idea however that every nagging individual is a woman, or that men don’t nag is a rather false one which I believe many people choose to ignore because, there’s nothing that can be done about it, and, they (I’m talking about men here) are not the face of nagging otherwise something would have been done to change that.

What people fail to realize about nagging is that it’s a two way street. An article on The Wall Street Journal stated that the partner being nagged is just as much part of the problem as the partner doing the nagging. The writer goes further to say that women are more likely to nag “…largely because they are conditioned to feel more responsible for managing home and family life. And they tend to be more sensitive to early signs of problems in a relationship. When women ask for something and don't get a response, they are quicker to realize something is wrong.”

At this point I’m beginning to wonder why I can’t get a response when I ask the first time, and the article provides an answer “men are to blame, too, because they don't always give a clear answer. Sure, a husband might tune his wife out because he is annoyed; nagging can make him feel like a little boy being scolded by his mother. But many times he doesn't respond because he doesn't know the answer yet, or he knows the answer will disappoint her.”

What I’m gathering is that in a bid to prevent a bigger problem, nagged-partners choose to ignore provide unclear responses or none at all to the nagging-partners who continue to demand for responses to a point where it becomes a problem for the nagged-partners. Which begs the question, why not just answer them already?

In discussions about relationships where nagging is involved, the part the nagged-partner plays never comes up, for me this paints half a picture. It creates the illusion that the nagging-partner has some issues he/she needs to work through. What I am pretty certain about is that it has to be annoying to remind someone to do something over and over again. And I’d ask that next time we are tempted to accuse our partners of nagging, maybe we should take a second to see just how we are aiding the process.